Obama follows up Nobel with Oscar

In the wee hours of yesterday morning, President Barack Obama learned he would be receiving the 2009 Academy Award for Best Picture. Mr. Obama is reported to have responded by running around the oval office yelling ”suck on that Gore!”

When reporters asked the president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, Tom Sherak, If it wasn’t odd to give the pinnacle of film achievement to a person who hasn’t even made a movie, he said “if Obama were to actually make a movie, it would probably be pretty kick ass.” “The award is for what he could hypothetically do, but probably won’t,” said a self-assured Sherak.

Critics have pointed out that Obama is pretty much the last person who should win a film award, considering he promised Michelle he would watch Citizen Kane with her, but repeatedly failed to watch the film to the end. “It was just too much work to sit through,” the president said.

Conservative pundits expressed outrage at the Academy’s choice, with Rush Limbaugh saying “now the terrorists have officially won and we might as well call this country the United States of Afghanistan.” Glen Beck reminded Fox viewers Hitler once received the Oscar for best short animated film. The majority of his audience took Beck's word for it, because as one loyal Fox viewer put it “that sounds so insane and impossible for my brain to believe, that it’s gotta be true!”

Other strong reactions included Kanye West, who told a press conference assembled mostly of his stuffed animal collection, that “Beyonce was robbed again!”

Meanwhile in rare moment of revealing his own opinion on an issue, Larry King pronounced “it was about time Danny Glover won an Oscar.”